Congratulations! You’re dead!

Please fill out this survey so we can improve your next life!

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

Congratulations! For better or worse, you lived your human life. We of the eternal consciousness wish to make every life seem meaningful. From the smallest microbe to the mind of an entire universe, we strive to give all life a sense of purpose even when there really isn’t any.

Please take a few moments of your eternity to consider answering the following so we may make improvements to what has always been and will always be.

1. Did you have a name, did you like it, and why?
2. Did you know that your name was just a meaningless social construct you could have changed at any time?
3. Of course, you loved your family, but did you actually like them? Did you know that the influence they had over you was ultimately your choice to be a victim or a hero because of it?
4. Do you have any sense at all of the privilege it was to have free will? Did you know free will can never exist in a vacuum? Did you know that more often than not you only did what you had to do and all your thoughts and actions were just rationalizations based on a dubious worldview mostly built upon unexamined assumptions of how the world really works?
5. Did you have a pet? Did you know cats…