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Top 5 Reasons I’m thankful today that I’m not Trump
BONUS: My last name will always have twice as many syllables as his.
Today is Thanksgiving. Love it or hate it the day is here. There is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it. Certainly not you.
Ignoring it just makes it worse. It just becomes this big thing growing on your face that everyone says you should get looked at but you don’t. Then you die at home alone in a decadent Florida estate because you didn’t appreciate the things you should be thankful for, like family, friends, or at least a few cats and or dogs.
Speaking of thankful I don’t live anywhere near Florida let's begin!
Number 5.
I don’t live in Florida. I live in Michigan. If you’ve never read my stuff. I talk about it much. Michigan is great. Florida sucks. It sucks on so many levels I can’t even list, but I probably should. And now will. Top #3 reasons FL sucks! Too hot. Too humid. To under the sea level to breathe normally. BONUS: Both DeSantis AND Trump live there. I am thankful as turkeys are to pardons that I do not live in Florida, assuming turkeys have more sentience than your average Trump and understand what the legal ramifications of anything at all are.
